Lately, I have been quite stressed due to exams. To relieve my stress, thought I would be a little silly and post some of my favourite jokes. So without further ado here are my top 10 favourite jokes, in no particular order. If you are not in the mood for joking around check out last weeks review of The Circle of Magic Book Series.
Joke No. 1
I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight.
“Was anything wrong with them?” the clerk asked.
“Yes,” I said. “They hurt my feelings.”
Author: A. P., via e-mail
Joke No. 2
Client: Please remove the unnecessary circle at the end of the sentence.
Me: You mean … the period?
Client: I don’t care what you designers call it; it is unsightly. Delete it.
Joke No. 3
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Joke No. 4
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
Because every play has a cast.
Joke No. 5
Sleep with an open window tonight!
1400 mosquitos like that. 420 mosquitos commented on it. 210 mosquitos shared this.
One mosquito invited for the event. 2800 mosquitos will be attending the event.
Joke No. 6
Doctor: “I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.”
Patient: “What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!”
Joke No. 7
“You know how it is in life. One door closes – that means another door opens…”
“Yeah, very nice, but you either fix that or I’m expecting a serious discount on that car!”
Joke No. 8
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the zoo.
Joke No. 9
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ”Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ”The driver just insulted me!” The man says: ”You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
Joke No. 10
An Englishman, a Frenchman, A Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do same excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he gets up on a box and calls out, “Can you see me now?”
That’s it Folks!
Let me know if you laughed at any of these jokes and whether or not you have heard them before.